05. That Bitch*

She was pregnant again and we knew that the first 3 months are going to be the toughest. But, this time, we were ready.

I learned new lingos like LMP (pregnancy's gestational age and expected delivery date is calculated from the first day of last menstrual period) and trimesters (the nine months of pregnancy is divided into three trimesters, each lasting 3 months or about lucky 13 weeks), I learned to count weeks instead of months, and I made sure I attend all the doctor appointments with her and even saved appointment reminders in my phone. I thought I was well prepared until she asked me a simple question, ‘Do I look FAT?’ 

No matter how much you try, you are never prepared enough for the first trimester (from LMP to 13 weeks). Had I said, “You are pregnant, you are supposed to look fat. Don’t worry, this too shall pass”, all she would have heard was “you are supposed to look fat”. You are doomed for the night. Instead, I said, “No honey, you still look sexy”. She was not happy either as she knew she was getting fat.

The hormones are playing haywire with her emotions, at the same time she is changing physically into something she thinks is unattractive. Every woman reacts to it in a different way. The symptoms of pregnancy like morning sickness, carvings, fatigue, and frequent urination are adding to the woes.

At the same time she is worried about the life that is growing inside her. In fact she might not even enjoy sex at this stage.  After all it is she who is going through all this and not you, she deserves to be a bitch*.

As a husband it is time for you to be responsible, responsible even for all the mistakes she had committed. Yes, take the blame. Remember 'I love you' and 'sorry', forget 'ego', it will make everything easy.

We discussed about the mood swings and all the symptoms of first trimester beforehand. Yes, there were times when she cried, times when she talked a lot, times when she was very happy, times when she was very worried, but she still she managed to be sane through those first three months. A bit of knowledge and understanding always helps. 

We saw Hridhima in USG for the first time on 4th March, 2011. She looked like nothing recognizable, but still we were so happy to see her. She was growing perfectly. Around the 8th week we heard her heartbeat for the first time...that was recognizable.  What we felt at that moment is inexpressible. It was the beginning of an incredible journey.

* Dogs are wonderful creatures...We are all equals...if you think 'bitch' is an abuse then you are abusing one of natures sweetest creations...FYI