21. T for Tantrums

We have been travelling a lot in the last two months, and amidst the hectic days she stepped into her second year. There was a traditional celebration on her birthday. The next day we had a small get together with our close relatives. We wanted it to be without fuss, only with people she is cozy with. I have seen people who forget about the comfort of the baby and throw big fat parties with scary jokers and noisy DJs just to fit into the status of the society. That never seemed like a great idea for us. All that mattered was the big smile on her face.

20. Little Miss Mischief

Over the last few months our little miss Alexander’s reach has grown considerably. Up on her toes, she has now conquered territories that earlier seemed safe. She has even learned to climb up the sofa and crawl under the sofa. It is difficult to match her energy and keep pace with her the entire day. Her special knack to get into things she should not get into, and out of things she should not get out of makes live even more adventurous. She walked few steps independently for few days till she fell badly. Since then she has added some extra caution to relentless spirit. Trying to walk and fall has become a part of her, which surprisingly is less scary than it looks. Though tough, we try not to overreact and make her afraid. 

19. Her Prized Possession

It seems yesterday when a pink floppy little thing came into our life. Suddenly, she is into her nine months….time flies when you have a character that always keeps you entertained. A small wonder who becomes excited when she sees you and sad when you are out of sight, a cutie pie who jumps into your lap and holds you tight when she is afraid. An angel who says ‘ba-ba’ and ‘ma-ma’ and leaves you confused if she actually meant it. A devil who looks at you with cute expressions and then jumps to bite your nose with her newly acquired teeth.

18. The Explorer

Gone are the days when we kept her at a place and knew that she will be still there after 5 minutes. Now with her new found mobility she is ready to explore the world, and what an explorer she is. She intuitively knows what things she is not supposed to touch. She explores the entire room and manages to find them. Things like plug points, wires, shoes and papers attract her like honey attracts bees. No wonder she is a daughter of geologists.

AllThese early childhood experiences are building her character. I believe every parent must see the following chart so that they can protect their chid from adverse experiences.

We had to quickly child proof our house, all plug points sealed, all hanging wires concealed, all shoes in the rack, all important books out of reach, any small things that has potential choking hazard removed from sight, and all sharp objects hidden. They say that your house gets redecorated after your wife moves in, well babies are no different. However, we have not stripped clean the room of everything. There is still enough stuff for her to explore, toys to play with, teeters to chew, sofas to hold and stand, and books to eat. Her playground is now the floor as freefall from beds is dangerous. Even than we have to be constantly alert. It is a full time job, specially for her mom who is alone when I am in office. Surprisingly she manages it all along with all the other wrks and doesn't want a baby-sitter. One reason why women were given the task of being mother was because they are the only species who has that qualification. Our constant surveillance has not prevented Hridhima from falling, but falling has not deterred her urge to stand. We were perplexed by her perseverance. I wish this spirit stays with her forever.

She is now a full-fledged member of our family who has her own character, her own likes and dislikes, her own mood swings. She even tries to communicate with us. After eating few pages from a book she got enough education and started speaking, “da-da”. It’s time to give her an encyclopedia for dinner.

Speaking of dinner, she has also started eating solids and drinking water. People often get surprised to see her drink from glass at this early age. Like I always say, they are smarter that we think. Boiled potato is her favorite dish. What goes in has to come out. The more she eats like us, the more she shits like us. The smell of her potty was the first noticeable change after the solids were started. But solid food gives us more freedom of travelling, not that it has stopped us from travelling before. She already had travelled to many places. Last month we went to Kolkata for her ‘Annaprasan’ and she grabbed pen from the all the options in the tray. Do we have a writer here? It’s her life, she will be what she wants to be, and I don’t want to bias her. 

17. Lil Smartie

As babies change from a non-reacting doll to an overreacting toddler, they observe, learn and grow. One might ignore their presence thinking that they are too small, but they observe everything and pick up very fast. They are smarter than we think. One thing I have learned in five months of parenting is that you don’t need to teach them what they should do next, they will tell you instead and help you evolve as a parent.

It is probably a good idea to decide early what kind of parent you would want to be, because these early years will decide the fate you your young one.

There are four types of parenting style, and we were Authoritative Parents. 

When she was few weeks old Hridhima started with moving her hands and legs as if to strengthen her muscles to be ready for her next step. Moment she knew she was ready she started trying hard to roll over. She finally managed after trying hard for a week, step two complete. She can manage to crawl now but she isn’t very fond of it, she would rather walk. Whatever she finds infront of her, she holds it and tries to stand. Falling and getting hurt doesn’t dampen her urge to stand and walk like we do. And when she finally manages to stand with support or holding our hands she becomes so happy that she starts laughing.

Just like they tell you what their next step is, they also tell you what they feel. You don’t need the jargons of literature to convey feelings. Adults often get irritated when the babies cry. But one has to realize that they are crying only because they have a genuine reason. Babes don’t pretend. After a stressful day’s work it is very easy to lose one’s temper, I did many times, but it only helps to make matter worse. It is important to remain calm and understand the problem, most often than not you do.

Again, they smile only when they mean to. She smiles when we smile, she laughs when we make strange noise, she giggles when she sees her reflection in the mirror, and now she even smiles when she sees her smiling video in the computer. But when Hridhima had fever she stopped smiling for two weeks. Babies become serious when sick. We were so worried. But her smile returned moment she was fit, and now she is all smiles again. As long as she smiles we know she is fine.

16. Finger-licking good

Hands are human beings first toy and mouth the first organ of pleasure. You fall in love with the world at the first bite. The flavour of your dirty hands inside your mouth is what I call finger-licking good, thumb-licking I mean.

Our thumbs are special.

Shyam Prabhakar from the Lawrence Berkeley National Laboratory had found out that a specific gene enhancer called HACNS1 might have been the magic ingredient that shaped our hands. HACNS1 is a DNA that controls the genes but is not a gene itself. It is the most rapidly evolving sequence of its kind in humans and is associated with our digit and limb pattern. This DNA gave us an elongate and fully opposable thumb, which in turn gave us the ability to make stone tools or hold this book (or digital device). 

The ability to grasp things, and with such precision, had a dramatic effect on our cognitive abilities. While our brain controls what we do, what we do changes it too. The advanced use of their hands by the hominids required hand-eye coordination, fine motor skill development, and the processing of large volumes of information. The more these hominids used their hands, the more complex and bigger their brains became. 

Babies are mouth-oriented; it really is their window to this new world. Through the mouth they get their first lessons of the globe around them. Putting things in the mouth may irritate parents but it helps the child develop her brain. There are mouth-toys developed exactly for that purpose. They come in all shape, size and texture. It also prepares them for solid food and helps them move on from nipples to spoons to cups.

Anything within the reach of Hridhima first goes into her mouth. Now that she has learned to grasp stuff we have to be careful of not keeping things with choking hazard near her. Whenever she sees something bright she tries to crawl towards it. If the object is far away, she needs breaks in-between. During the break she sucks her thumb for a brief while to get revitalized, and then she is off again. When she finally reaches the object, if it is too big to hold, then she touches it and then puts her thumb in her mouth, touches it again and puts her thumb back in her mouth. I guess she wonders why all big things tastes like thumb.

This wonderful development stage is called as the oral stage by Freud. In case you don’t like it and want your child to grow up fast, think about the next stage; Freud calls it the anal stage!

15. Parents or Lovers?

Once upon a time there was a couple deeply in love, then they became parents.

Being parents is a wonderful feeling, life changes for good. But parenting can also become a full time job, and most often we become so obsessed parenting that we forget that we were once lovers. Remember the person who was there before your children came into being, it will be the same person who will be with you when you hairs grey, when your vision blur, when your legs become weak, and when your children grow-up and leave. Don’t let parenting make you forget the lover in you. It is from you that your children will learn to love.

There is another very important person whom we forget and ignore after becoming parents. That person it called ‘self’. Every person needs time for themselves. A time when they can do what-ever that makes them happy, a time for ones obsessions, a time for ones hobbies. It is one reason I still find time to read and write. It helps me relax and de-stress myself. Happy and stress free parents will result in happy and stress free kids. It’s the key to happy parenting.

Stress increases cortisol (stress hormone) secretion, which in turn increases the cortisol in mother’s milk. This can make the infants less confident, less social, nervous and cranky. Sons happen to be more sensitive to this than daughters. These behavioral traits stay with the kids even when they grow old.

Hridhima is 4 months now. She has become mobile and can turn and roll from one side of the bed to another. She is keeping us on our toes. Here is a video compilation of her.

Below is some useful reference charts for parents. These charts are just guidelines. Every child follows his/her own pattern. 

You can find the WHO growth reference chart in the following website:

http://www.cdc.gov/growthcharts/

This is how Hridhima is growing:

Following is a link to a website I found interesting.

http://guidetochildcare.org/feeding-the-newborn-and-infants.htm

14. Sleeping Beauty

Our daughter is a sweetheart. She was born at noon, and was supposed to keep us awake through the night. Only in the first week she fed every three hours, which increased to 4 to 5 hrs of sleep at night by second week. By the time she was three months old she slept 8 hours through the night. Moment she keeps turning her head from one side to another, it means it’s time to sleep. She never gave us sleepless nights, lots of love and hugs to her for that.